Hey kids, take in and enjoy the majesty that is this week’s Your Week in Porn. It’s the last one like it, and next week we unveil Your Week in Porn v2.0.
This week: Have you wondered what kind of underwear the women of Doctor Who wear? This guy has. People read the Suicide Girls comic just for the storyline. Speaking of publications people make excuses for reading, Playmate ditches nuptials to Hugh Hefner.
Court rules a woman can watch porn and masturbate at work — and lives nowhere in the San …

This week: Ewoks gone wild. Middle aged men still pretending to be hot women on the Internet. Politicians in New York tackle the hard choices of the day, decides that lap dances are subject to sales taxes.
Forget everything you know about tree-hugging, Gaia-loving hippies. Apparently, they’re hot, photovoltaic bikini-wearing models, not patchouli-smelling, dreadlock-wearing political science majors.
Embarrassing: having your login and password hacked on Pron.com. Priceless: comparing those logins and passwords to Facebook, and if they match, letting everyone know about your porn watching habits.
Yub nub means “sex offender list” in …

This week: Occupational health and safety hearings — the real sign that porn’s gone mainstream? iPhone cam girls now need to find a new line of work — Google Chat cam girls, perhaps? Small, hick town in Florida hates porn as much as they love crystal meth.
Hey kids, be glad you were born now, with your porn on the internets. If you were born 50 years ago, you’d get your rocks off with porn novels — and it’s not like they made Cliff’s Notes for them.
iPhone cam girl service goes …

This week: YouPorn makes an offer on chez Charlie Sheen. Really YouPorn? Was that your best idea for a publicity grab? Like its privacy policy, Facebook is schizophrenic when it comes to an anti-porn page. Why yes, I *am* June’s Juliland jGrrl of the month. See how easy the rolls off the tongue?
YouPorn makes a bid to buy Charlie Sheen’s mansion. World yawns in a collective fit of obviousness.
The wrestler formerly known as Chyna looks to make another porn movie. There’s a joke about her being more manly than any men …

This week: Men want to bedazzle their junk too. (Wait, what?) Christina Hendricks says they’re all real. Which just fine with me. Utah proves, once again, why they’re just a burqa away from being the Afghanistan of America — and by Afghanistan, I mean someplace no one wants to visit.
This ain’t no over the shoulder boulder holster. It’s a holster for small .380 automatics and small revolvers. I’m sure there’s a kink for this somewhere in Japan.
If hot, sweaty men grappling each other in their underwear isn’t a reason to …

This week: The big V says “Yes, yes,” to contract girls (again). That Bin Laden “parody” you’ve been waiting for? It’s on. Oh, you weren’t waiting for it? ExtenZe, apparently, works. Who the fuck would have thought?
Poobahs of good taste Girls Gone Wild crowns the “Drunkest Sorority Famewhore in America” “Hottest Girl in America.”
Lars von Trier claims Kristen Dunst and Charlotte Gainsbourg are ready for their hardcore close-ups. Que the inevitable publicity grab from porn companies in three, two, one…
Navy SEALs find porn in Bin Laden’s Pakistan hideout, probably in …

This week: It’s not a public spectacle without a Vivid contract offer — and the royal wedding is no exception. Fleshlight shatters the rules of logic and logistics, sends a case of pussy imitations to a secret military unit. Someone really needed to turn on the spellcheck when they came up with the title for “Rezervoir Doggs.”
Remember that French kissing machine the Japanese came up with last week? I give you the SPERM COLLECTOR. The horror of our future robot overlords is now complete.
Now that porn stars are running amok …

This Week: AIM closes, but industry chugs on with — what else? —Taxi Driver and Saturday Night Fever parodies. Girls from the Bad Girls Club really are bad, apparently, with the release of another “celebrity” sex tape. Director works out his oedipal issues by making a loving documentary about his mother, a phone sex operator.
AIM is closed for good. I was never a fan of the place, but it was where many in the industry got tested. The XBiz coverage:
Another reality “star” makes a “celebrity” sex tape, but doesn’t …

Some penis extenders actually work, apparently — I have a great feeling about scientists discovering unicorns now. The CDC isn’t just the last line of defense against zombies, it’s the place where clueless docs rail against porn. Destined to be the most boring parody ever made: the upcoming royal wedding. You know I’m right.
What’s new in Juliland.com? EVERYTHING!!! ALL NEW SITE!!! Angel Vain, Ruby Knox and April jGrrl Nicki Hunter in all new fotoland sets! Two new Nicki Hunter movies and an Aiden Ashley flick you have to see to …

This week: Monologues are fair game when it comes to porn parodies…wait, what? China gets into 3D porn. Creepy middle-aged Miley Cyrus fans no longer have to worry about sex offender laws and restraining orders — thanks sex toy company!
What’s new in Juliland.com: An all-new site redesign, that’s bigger, bolder and better! April jGrrl Nicki Hunter in not one, but two Movieland movies! Ash Hollywood and Aiden Ashley featured in two new Fotoland sets!
Fetishes, and the creative types who love them…and who keep on putting them in their art.
Speaking …