This week: Occupational health and safety hearings — the real sign that porn’s gone mainstream? iPhone cam girls now need to find a new line of work — Google Chat cam girls, perhaps? Small, hick town in Florida hates porn as much as they love crystal meth.
Hey kids, be glad you were born now, with your porn on the internets. If you were born 50 years ago, you’d get your rocks off with porn novels — and it’s not like they made Cliff’s Notes for them.
iPhone cam girl service goes …

This week: YouPorn makes an offer on chez Charlie Sheen. Really YouPorn? Was that your best idea for a publicity grab? Like its privacy policy, Facebook is schizophrenic when it comes to an anti-porn page. Why yes, I *am* June’s Juliland jGrrl of the month. See how easy the rolls off the tongue?
YouPorn makes a bid to buy Charlie Sheen’s mansion. World yawns in a collective fit of obviousness.
The wrestler formerly known as Chyna looks to make another porn movie. There’s a joke about her being more manly than any men …

This week: It’s not a public spectacle without a Vivid contract offer — and the royal wedding is no exception. Fleshlight shatters the rules of logic and logistics, sends a case of pussy imitations to a secret military unit. Someone really needed to turn on the spellcheck when they came up with the title for “Rezervoir Doggs.”
Remember that French kissing machine the Japanese came up with last week? I give you the SPERM COLLECTOR. The horror of our future robot overlords is now complete.
Now that porn stars are running amok …

Kortney Kane comes to Juliland from South Carolina and now lives in So-Cal with the rest of us crazies. She loves the adult biz and says, “it’s far from boring.” A few things that make her smile: good sex, good coffee, good food and good company — all of which I think we can agree on. Richard met Kortney last year and right away knew she was special. He couldn’t wait to play and have some fun. She couldn’t wait to show Richard her dark side, something she says most …